Endings and New Beginnings…A Challenging Time

Home » Emotions » Endings and New Beginnings…A Challenging Time

Beck road hammockSaying “Goodbye”

We all experience times of change in our lives.  Some are easy and some, challenging.  Some of us resist change while others can “go with the flow.”  However, change always benefits us in some manner.  It stretches us by moving us out of our comfort zone.  It allows us to grow, regardless of how difficult or easy it may seem.  And, as much as we may desire a certain outcome, we find that the lessons are in the journey.

I am a perfect example of someone who is in transition…in a major way.  And I thought that it would be helpful to write about my experience, sharing my lessons learned with this particular “move” on the wheel of life.

For those of you who are unaware of my circumstances, I am presently in the process of moving out of Pennsylvania, where I have lived my whole life.  This past spring, while helping a close friend look for a home to purchase in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, I happened to come upon a development in the nearby town of Lewes.  The relatively new community sat on a beautiful two mile lake with brand new single story homes, a beautiful clubhouse, an Olympic size swimming pool, a kayak launch, and in close proximity to the beach and a State park abounding with nature…It certainly got my attention.  It had almost everything that Diane, my wife, and I had talked about if we were to ever move out of Pennsylvania.

Long story short, Diane and I felt this was “it.” We went home and immediately started to prepare our house for sale by painting, completing unfinished projects, and cleaning out closets. Two months later we put our house on the market and in one week, it was sold.  We went back to this community, selected our lot, signed an agreement in twenty minutes, and are presently building our new home which should be completed in December.

Talk about being on the fast track!  Bam, bam, bam!  Within a short time period, we had prepared our home for sale, sold it, packed it up, bought a property out of state, and moved to an apartment with half of our things in storage. But we knew it felt right.  Needless to say, we are exhausted.

With that being said, I have been in the process of grieving a magical property…one that was ‘alive.’  Over the past 14 years, we renovated our “fixer upper” and brought it back to life.  From day one, anyone who walked through our doors could “feel” a magical connection with the 1850’s farmhouse with its original stone bake oven, the majestic, mature trees, the old stone ground barn and the acre of beautiful gardens.

11202960_10207759971424133_3989247177106674682_n

My grief came upon me stronger than I imagined but I chose not to resist my feelings.  The sadness would come in waves and although these feelings haven’t been pleasant, I knew they were marking the end of a cycle.  I had to willingly let go of something precious, only to make way for new beginnings.

Besides the property itself, I am reminded of the memories here.  It was the last house where my boys lived with me prior to being on their own.  It was the property that prompted me to start my business.  It was the house that Diane moved into upon declaring our commitment to one another. It was the place where many people came to find themselves…And the list goes on.

Upon cleaning out the attic, I found hundreds of photos from the past, boxes of my kids’ hand drawn pictures from a young age, slides and films that my parents had left behind and lots of other “stuff.” For some reason, I had attached myself to these things and now I had to decide if I were to keep them, throw them or give them away.  Energetically, there was a lot I had to let go of.  And being in “crunch mode” did not give me much of a chance to bid them farewell.  It was difficult.

It also didn’t help when people questioned our move.  “How can you leave this beautiful property?” we heard time and time again.  But, we knew it was time.  We had longed to move to a single story home with less maintenance, in a progressive community that was surrounded by water and nature, with milder winters, and accepting of our lifestyle.  Lewes had it all.

So what have I learned?

  • Grieving a property that provided the kind of magic and memories that it did for me is normal. It is not unusual to actually go through the five stages of grief (Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross):  Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.  Even if people don’t understand how you feel, you know how you feel.  That’s all that matters.
  • I had to make sure that I took time to “feel” my grief. Sometimes I got so busy, worrying about what to pack, throw away, and donate, and didn’t have time to feel.  It was essential to do “check ins” with my grief and slow down to “feel and deal.”  Otherwise, I found that my emotions would get “stuck” and were harder to release later.
  • It was important for me to have resources to help me deal with my transition. I needed more resources beyond Diane.  Diane was physically and mentally exhausted with the move, dealing with her own ‘pain.’  I had to understand that you can’t solely rely on your partner for comforting when they are hurting as well.
  • It was essential to assess the “move” and its challenges. For us, we found that our minds and bodies took a toll.  Because we will be moving again in December, we decided to hire movers to make it a bit less painful.  We will also be conscious of each other’s feelings, communicate what we need, and provide support as able.
  • I learned that the memories are not gone. Although I released the physical, I can still feel the magical essence of the house, the property and the possessions.  I can close my eyes and go back there at any time to experience the gifts they have given me…and I am grateful.

So, while living temporarily in an apartment five minutes from our “old” house, I have the opportunity to re-assess my life.  How do I want my 24 hour ideal day to look like in Lewes?  What kinds of things do I want to be doing with my business? How can I be of service to others and the planet?  These next three months will be a great time to reflect and visualize the next chapter of my life.

Overall, this transition was one of the most challenging times of my life.  But I consciously look at it as a celebration and an adventure.  I see my personal and professional life being reconstructed with a new foundation, just like our new home…stronger, simpler, and better.

IMG950567_2

And, for those of you who have been my biggest supporters, thank you.  And if it moves you to call or write to me and offer feedback as to how I have provided the most value for you, I’m all ears.  I am here to be of service and I just want you to know, I appreciate you.

In gratitude and love,

Kathleen (aka Machi)

 

Comments are closed.

Sign Up

Simply enter your name and email below, and Kathleen will send you updates, inspiring writings and weekly wisdom from the Sacred Path Cards.

Follow me on Twitter

Copyright Kathleen McGinley, Heartrock Healing 2016